I wanna put you on like a warm sweater straight out the dryer.
What freightens me now isn’t the absence of a soul but the very presence of one. A fire burns within you. I see it in your eyes when you confide in me about the state of your life. That night in late January when you moved up my black and white dress and caressed me. That night early March when you grabbed my hair, held me close, I wiped my tears and we made up on my green couch. It’s why I seldom look in your eyes because I’m freightened that I’ll be captivated: that I’ll see too much. Your actions match your eyes. Your words match your eyes. Your behaviors sometimes don’t so I don’t look at them often because the more I do…
Elle Oh Vee Ee
I always got caught with gum in my mouth
Wore sunglasses to class
Walked around making sure my hair looked messy
Got caught passing notes
Talked too much
Was the Kim K of the damn school
Popped my denim jacket’s collar
Wore tomato red lipstick and a pretty severe cat eye
Listened to bands no one heard of
Cursed like a sailor
And still got straight A’s ;)
"Pull my hair and tell me that you love me."
#im a snob
I can’t imagine that a dude walking down the street and intervening in your private conversation actually believes that it’s cute and will get him anywhere.
"Can we get some wine too?"
The minute we begin to ask, “oh yeah? What kind do you drink? Chardonnay? Sauvignon Blanc? Pinot Noir? Moscato D’Asti?”
Their face would reflect their obvious confusion as an, “uhhhhh,” leaves their mouths.
He said he had only seen it happen in movies.
#Some ole bullshit
#imtrynabefunnyhere inevertakemyselfserious laughingatyourselfisthebest
When you are 25
friendless and boyfriend-less
with your family a mere 30 minutes away yet they don’t visit
you’ve just bought your first 55’ in (53.8’ in diagonal) Smart TV
you have gotten a router so you can stop stealing your neighbor’s weak Wi-Fi signal
should be enjoying a big milestone in your adult life
you’ve bought it since Monday and it is now Thursday and you haven’t even taken it out of the box
you’re not strong enough to mount it on your wall because you’re a girl and you live alone
you hope no creepy ass creeps track your IP address and try to come and make small talk when you hate first getting to know you conversations
"If I were really really ridiculously wealthy, I wouldn’t buy a mansion, just tiny apartments in every city I love."
"What are you looking for?"
My knees were on either of his sides when he asked. He was freightened and so was I. We were both freightened of the truth. He freightened because I saw what I was seeking in his eyes; I freightened because I knew I would find it. I saw so clearly, lies aside. I had sworn I possessed psychic abilities. I saw it in his eyes before his brain even signaled his lips to give him away.
In that moment I should have ran. I should have left that bungalow behind his grandmother’s home. I should have fled across those rust colored, loose, clanking tiles. I should have driven home in a fury to never contact him again.
That was the last time I entrusted a traveler with my heart and he threw it out of the window before departure.
I had stared deep into his cold eyes like I had many times before, yet again, I saw no soul.
I just really wish I had a reset button but life doesn’t hand you do overs. Just lessons. Experiences. All you can do is learn and grow.
"When someone won’t let you in, eventually you stop knocking."
I’m not even attracted to anyone anymore. I look at random guy’s faces— on the street or in a movie— and perhaps find it some what attractive but in my mind it’s his image I can’t shake. I have these intervening flashes:
*Flash of his back that night I massaged him* I think, “Whatever. He doesn’t have my boy’s skin.”
*Flash of his face from my point of view when we were both standing at the bar* I think, “Eh, he’s short af. My boy’s a venti.”
*snippet of the way the light was coming into his eyes at the precise angle making them illuminated a mossy green* I think, “my boy has the most beautiful shade.”
"Look, let’s give it up. Let’s just lay around and make love and take walks and talk a little. Let’s drive down and look at the ocean. It’s only 45 minutes. Let’s play games in the arcades. Let’s go to the races, the Art Museum, the boxing matches. Let’s have friends. Let’s laugh. This kind of life like everybody else’s kind of life: it’s killing us."
I was with my lover and in the middle of what we did best. The man I’ve been madly in lust with was entering me and it was so passionate, so loving, so fiery that I called upon God’s name once more. I was feeling something beyond physical; something higher. So much so that I felt the need to call upon something other worldly. It was perfection.
I was having dinner at a restaurant with my dearest friend in life and it had been my first time there. It had been such a long time since I was so satisfied with a new meal. The food was so incredibly flavorful I repeated, “oh my God,” with every bite. I thought of the only other time— the aforementioned event— those words left my mouth and it was an experience so overwhelming my eyes began to water. I said it was because the food was delicious but in reality it was a very profound realization.
It is sad that I only praise a higher power when I feel most alive? How could those two experiences be on par with one another? They aren’t even comparable in my mind but those simple words; these two distinct events. I cried because I solemnly call God’s name. Pleasures so grand there just has to be a higher being. There has to be a God in order to experience something so.